this beer tastes like vomit already
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
