I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
ok first of all what the fuck
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