Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
