It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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