If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
