You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
