it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize