Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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