What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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