ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
