I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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