I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.