we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...