We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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