he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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