Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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