Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
