I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
