her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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