Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...

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(847): View more from Illinois

There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.

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(714): View more from California

so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)

(1-714): View more from California

i'm so jealous of you right now.

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(586): View more from Michigan

If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(646): View more from New York

She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."

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(443): View more from Maryland

also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs

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(207): View more from Maine

Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.

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