Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?