maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
