new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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