Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!

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  (248): Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks! http://tfl.nu/xdy8
  Replies (7) Good night (1457) Bad night (794)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.

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  (708): We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan. http://tfl.nu/28ik
  Replies (22) Good night (4989) Bad night (660)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.

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  (720): i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there. http://tfl.nu/dzaj
  Replies (22) Good night (670) Bad night (3436)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.

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  (+64): apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing. http://tfl.nu/xl08
  Replies (36) Good night (4344) Bad night (729)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."

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  (716): Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per." http://tfl.nu/jili
  Replies (6) Good night (4148) Bad night (804)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.

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  (715): I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed. http://tfl.nu/mebd
  Replies (21) Good night (4771) Bad night (882)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed

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  (847): my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed http://tfl.nu/8ny3
  Replies (33) Good night (613) Bad night (3547)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.

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  (727): I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights. http://tfl.nu/lg7e
  Replies (26) Good night (1112) Bad night (10439)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.

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  (812): About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix. http://tfl.nu/c1od
  Replies (43) Good night (9978) Bad night (835)
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  (661): View more from California

  so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.

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  (661): so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa. http://tfl.nu/lwmw
  Replies (22) Good night (6181) Bad night (813)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.

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  (419): Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher. http://tfl.nu/jcc0
  Replies (11) Good night (3826) Bad night (1141)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.

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  (575): You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/h3k6
  Replies (13) Good night (1868) Bad night (703)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot

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  (508): I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot http://tfl.nu/m2xq
  Replies (5) Good night (2200) Bad night (716)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point

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  (512): Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point http://tfl.nu/vgyx
  Replies (1) Good night (772) Bad night (380)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Flo's in town, ain't she.

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  (720): I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory. (303): Flo's in town, ain't she. http://tfl.nu/80za
  Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (334)

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