Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.

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  (305): Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough. http://tfl.nu/p0ma
  Replies (7) Good night (2705) Bad night (647)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.

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  (314): Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem. http://tfl.nu/kucl
  Replies (29) Good night (2134) Bad night (645)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.

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  (917): My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star. http://tfl.nu/572f
  Replies (13) Good night (2272) Bad night (1073)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.

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  (612): just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity. http://tfl.nu/dkjk
  Replies (11) Good night (852) Bad night (3066)
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  (562): View more from California

  Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.

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  (562): Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont. http://tfl.nu/ey1g
  Replies (14) Good night (834) Bad night (3440)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  What's a "vodkaffle"?

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.

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  (208): What's a "vodkaffle"? (608): It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix. http://tfl.nu/84eu
  Replies (10) Good night (4174) Bad night (979)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We are two peas in an std pod

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  (630): We are two peas in an std pod http://tfl.nu/62ho
  Replies (12) Good night (933) Bad night (5611)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.

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  (217): I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in. http://tfl.nu/j76d
  Replies (7) Good night (3491) Bad night (729)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Naked Twister starts at high noon

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  (913): Naked Twister starts at high noon http://tfl.nu/ka5x
  Replies (16) Good night (2162) Bad night (613)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?

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  (313): I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/g93i
  Replies (7) Good night (1606) Bad night (558)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.

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  (407): and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends. http://tfl.nu/08f5
  Replies (1) Good night (1066) Bad night (378)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!

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  (609): So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!! http://tfl.nu/jit9
  Replies (8) Good night (1049) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.

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  (407): I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream. http://tfl.nu/7e9b
  Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?

  (1-323): View more from California

  Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.

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  (323): Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk? (1-323): Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs. http://tfl.nu/3ikx
  Replies (2) Good night (1115) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects

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  (425): You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects http://tfl.nu/xrwr
  Replies (0) Good night (587) Bad night (237)

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