You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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