If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
