Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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