I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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