At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
someone get that fucking seahorse.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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