omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
These tits shall not be calmed
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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