Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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