This dress was meant to end up on your floor
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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