i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
