Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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