Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
