Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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