did you get engaged???
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
