PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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