One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
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Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
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I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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