For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
