He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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