I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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