guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
