You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
