I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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