He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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