I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
