Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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