the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
