my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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