Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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