Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
