I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
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