I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
