i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
