So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
