so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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