you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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