you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
