You can't special order awesome
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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