yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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