Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
