i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
