just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize