So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
