nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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