I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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